When I see
THIS...
It's hard to remember THIS...
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It's been nearly 4 months since my angel-bear underwent his Hemispherotomy and if you had told me then about the way he'd be now, I wouldn't have believed you...in fact the Doctors did tell us...and I didn't believe it. I mean, I know I described to people the results we were told we'd see and spoke confidently about it, but following surgery, I must confess, I lost faith...at least in the time frame of these great results.
Yet, here is my son: smiling,
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| laughing |
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| holding his own bottle |
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| talking baby jabber all day |
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| riding in the shopping cart |
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| paying attention at Story time |
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| getting excited because Daddy's home |
and rocking new teeth every other day, it seems.
When I see all these really amazing things he's doing, I just forget about the past. I forget he ever had seizures. I forget we spent weeks in the hospital, and I forget that he had his head sliced open and that half of his little brain is permanently snoozing. None of that feels real any more.
I was going through old pictures of the dark days and I felt nothing. The images that once terrified me had absolutely no affect on my emotional state because as the sad little broken baby on the screen stared up at me, the hilarious, happy, drooling baby on the floor looked up at me as well...and he let out a snorting giggle that told me: "Mom, I'm cool. Everything is chill here, now, so we don't have to feel sad. Let's party! Also, I just pooped."
So I'm glad I did follow through and start this blog shortly after the badness, because if I tried to write descriptively about my feelings then, now, it would be feeble and dimensionless at best. I can't remember how it felt then, and I don't wish to. I am so enormously blissful with my sweet baby man to play with every day. He is a champ, a superstar, an amazing, resilient, and silly guy and I'm so proud of the endurance he's shown as well as the hard work he's done to regain what he'd lost.
Rowan Edward, you are my everything and everything you do astounds me. You can do ANYTHING...and with only half a brain! Thank you for being my baby, you wonderful boy. I love you so.
(p.s. Row's on the floor at this very moment...and he just farted...comedy is all about...timing)
